All languages, same root

Have you ever wondered where language came from and why some languages are so similar? Well, here's a very good explanation.

Well, this is my simple explanation. The origins of all language today came from the Creator God.

After all, we humans all originated from the family of Noah in the Bible!

Be nice to one another. We are a family after all!

English grammar Russian style

Toxic grammar, need an anti-oxidant

What is this sentence trying to say? I have no idea.

This is a delivery van for a company that sells fresh fruit. Should the sentence be a question or a statement? Grammatically, it is so wrong. Contextually, it makes no sense. How should it read?

My suggestion:

Have you had fruits yet?

Many kinds of fresh fruit are known as anti-oxidants. We eat them to get rid of the toxins accumulated in our bodies from all the other kinds of foods that we eat. I think this company's copywriter needs some anti-oxidants for his English skills, to get rid of all the toxins in his English grammar.

Please do not butcher the English language. Use it correctly.

Happy writing!

Cryptic sign, but we all understand!

I spotted this sign at the supermarket. I have walked by many times but never paid attention to what it said, until that day. What language is this? Even SMS language does not have such abbreviations. Must be a unique combination of Singlish (aka "Singapore English) and fast typing.

The amazing thing is, we all understand the meaning. Wait a bit. The sales person will be back shortly to help you.

Happy shopping!

The fish lost his job

I was having a drink at a local food centre when I chanced on this dish called "Fired Fish".

The human brain is wired such that any normal person would have automatically read it as "Fried Fish". Unfortunately, I am not "any normal person". Years of proofreading work have caused me to pick up typo errors with alarming frequency. As I taught my Office Skills students, always ask someone else who has better language skills than you to check your work before you submit it. The person you choose must be detailed and meticulous, or your work will not be error-free. This picture is a good example.

In case you are wondering, I conclude that the fish lost his job (aka "got fired") through no fault of his own. Poor fish!

Happy eating!

Do you scare cockroach?

When I saw this question, I had a good laugh. The vast majority of humans are scared of cockroaches. I am not one of the majority. I get mad when I see a cockroach. My first reaction is, "How dare you invade my clean house?!" Then, I remove my slipper and whack it till it is dead. (A Hawaiian trait that I picked up after living there for three years.) I do not like cockroaches, but I am certainly not scared of them.

I have never seen a cockroach scared of humans before! The former English teacher in me proceeded to quickly correct the question. It should be:

Are you scared of cockroaches?

As I reflected on languages and translations, it dawned on me that the person asking the question was simply asking a question that is literally translated from an Asian language. In Chinese, the question would be, "你怕蟑螂吗？" (Literally "you scare(d) cockroach?) In the Indonesian and Cambodian languages, the English equivalent is exactly the same: "you scare(d) cockroach?" To make the question sound proper in English, you add "do" at the beginning. Hence,

Do you scare cockroach?

Of course, to the western mind, this would be ludicrous! If cockroaches were afraid of humans, they would not invade our homes and choose to make their home in ours.

Learning languages is fun. Learn to laugh at yourself. You will not forget the lesson.

Here's to exterminating cockroaches!

SMART phone or smartphone?

True story:

Me: Do you have a smartphone?
M: No, only Globe.
(Pause)
Ah! (lightbulb moment)
Hahaha. Yes, I have a smartphone.
(Still laughing)

Maybe only Filipinos will understand this joke, but with a bit of explanation, you will appreciate the simplicity of these few lines.

In the Philippines, the two biggest mobile phone service providers are SMART and Globe. Most Filipinos own two phones, one SMART and one Globe. Why? Use SMART to call friends who only have SMART service, and use Globe to call those on Globe. If calling a landline, use the phone that charges the least for calls to a landline. Then of course, there is always the issue of signal strength. Sometimes, you just have to use the phone that has a stronger signal in a certain area.

I was trying to find out from M if he had a smartphone so that we could text message for free using a chat app.

M does have a smartphone. We can chat for free while we are in our respective home countries.

Thank you, technology, for making our communication so simple.

Happy chatting across the world!