Porn or Prone?

A friend posted this picture on Facebook.

Can Porn be an accident? Hmmm. Well, some men would tell you they were searching for something on the internet and a porn website popped up. Accident? Yes. But only if he shut it quickly. No, if he could not take his eyes off the pictures.

I digress.

This sign should read:

ACCIDENT PRONE AREA

Accident Prone means you are highly likely to meet with an accident in the vicinity. Therefore, you should stay clear or walk at your own risk. Whoever painted the sign obviously cannot spell. After all, "porn" and "prone" have the same letters in different order.

It pays to check several times, and with someone who has better English, than to end up being a laughing stock. With today's technology, a misspelled sign can go viral and make you a laughing stock worldwide. If you enjoy that kind of publicity, be my guest. I would rather be correct and unnoticed.

Correct spelling does have its benefits.

Have fun with English!

MeetingS kills

A friend was preparing slides for a training session entitled "Meeting Skills". In the process of typing the title slide, she realised that with a small typo, you will get an entirely different meaning:

"MeetingS kills"

Anyone who has ever sat through a meeting can testify that on the whole, meetings are a dreaded necessity. This is especially true if the Chairperson does not know how to keep the agenda moving in a quick and efficient manner. Discussions can go completely out of hand if not directed well. An agenda with only a few items ends up lasting hours because people were allowed to talk freely on anything superficially related to the topic. Hence, skills are required to conduct meetings so that the business gets done in as short a time as possible. Chop, chop ... and the meeting is over. Work can commence.

If the meeting goes on and on, you may find enthusiasm "killed". People will find excuses not to attend the meeting, or be physically present but mentally somewhere else.

Get the right meeting skills or risk killing others (or getting killed) by meetings.

Have fun at your next meeting!

Angles we have heard on high

"Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains"

Christmas is in the air! Carols can be heard in almost every public place and sometimes on street corners. Pictures of nativity scenes, angels, and Santa Claus and reindeer greet us wherever we look. Simply cannot run away from Christmas.

Every Christmas, there will inevitably be at least one person who cannot differentiate between "angels" and "angles".

Other than an inability to spot the difference (I know quite a few people like that!), angels are far from angular!

Angels are generally portrayed as benign celestial beings who are watching over us from above. They are summoned by God to keep watch over mankind. One angel per person, some say two angels per child. Angelic beings are gentle, loving and caring. In contrast, angles are known to be hard and inflexible. If something is described as being "angular", it means that the item has hard lines and feels cold and uncaring (as opposed to curved lines which show softness).

More importantly, if the carol Gloria in Excelsis Deo were to be typed incorrectly i.e. "angles we have heard on high" instead of "angels we have heard on high", it would make no sense. Angles can't sing. Angels do. Sweetly too.

So, if you are in charge of creating song sheets or PowerPoint slides for Christmas, be careful! Angles do not sing. :D

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas now!

Scoops? Scopes?

I came across this in a restaurant menu and had a good laugh. I took notice because I like waffles and ice cream! Who does not? Yum!

Well, this restaurant serves waffles with two "scopes of ice cream". Huh?

A "scope" is, among other definitions, a viewing instrument like a microscope, periscope, etc. When you have a problem in your stomach or intestines, a doctor will insert a tube with a small camera down your mouth into your stomach and beyond to see what is going on inside you. That tube with a small camera is called a "scope".

What I want with my waffle is a "scoop" of ice cream. I expect my ice cream to come in the form of a round ball about 1.5 - 2 inches in diameter. The size of the scoop varies, but the idea is the same: a small ball of ice cream on top of my waffle.

Obviously the copywriter for this restaurant's menu did not bother to check the correct spelling before sending the menu to print. Hmmm .... Nonetheless, I hope the waffle and ice cream tastes good :)

It does not hurt to check, check and re-check.

Enjoy your scoops of ice cream or risk having a scope going down your gut :D

Happy eating!

Merry? Marry?

Spelling errors again!

After so many years of teaching basic English to non-native speakers, my students (and their friends and students) still make the same mistake. Instead of

Merry Christmas

they write

Marry Christmas

Of course spellcheck, auto-correct and predictive text do not fix the error, simply because "Marry" is a proper English word. It just does not belong with Christmas! Unless of course you are getting married to the holiday, then maybe ...

As I have told my students numerous times (to absolutely no effect!), check, check and re-check every piece of work before you send it out. One small spelling error and your reputation is tarnished.

So unless you have decided to get married to Christmas (which is quite impossible), please wish your friends and family a

Merry Christmas!

Ants? Aunts?

Did you spot the error?

Always check, check and re-check before your text goes to final print!

The fish lost his job

I was having a drink at a local food centre when I chanced on this dish called "Fired Fish".

The human brain is wired such that any normal person would have automatically read it as "Fried Fish". Unfortunately, I am not "any normal person". Years of proofreading work have caused me to pick up typo errors with alarming frequency. As I taught my Office Skills students, always ask someone else who has better language skills than you to check your work before you submit it. The person you choose must be detailed and meticulous, or your work will not be error-free. This picture is a good example.

In case you are wondering, I conclude that the fish lost his job (aka "got fired") through no fault of his own. Poor fish!

Happy eating!

Please re-sting my tennis racket

I noticed this sign only after walking past it numerous times. Suddenly, it caught my attention. Of course, the grammar is wrong, but that is just minor compared with what they are advertising.

First, "sting" refers to an insect attack like that of a bee or hornet.

Second, a bee sting only happens once because the bee loses its ability to sting after one attempt. Therefore, there cannot be a "re-sting".

Third, tennis rackets cannot be stung. They are inanimate objects. They cannot feel pain.

A tennis racket, however, does need to get a new set of strings every so often when it is used frequently. This process is called "restringing". This is what the shop specialises in: restringing tennis rackets. Unfortunately, either the owner cannot spell or did not notice the typo error - for many years!

A minor error can mar a company's reputation for life. Let us check and re-check before it becomes "cast in stone".

Happy proof-reading!

I "copas", so it must be right

If you are Indonesian, you will probably know what "copas" means. It is not at all an Indonesian word. In fact, it is more likely to be labelled as Bahasa Jakarta or "Jakarta language". Jakarta language is not a proper language. There are many words that are acronyms of a phrase that takes too long to sound out. Hence, the truncation.

"Copas" is one such truncation. "CO(py) (and) PAS(te) = Copas" Get it? Quite clever, I must say.

Actually, the point of this blog post is not about truncation or Jakarta language. It is about "copy and paste" of texts that we want to quote in our writing. Since someone else has already typed it out, why should I waste my time and type it out again? Just copy and paste. It will be accurate that way. No typo errors.

You sure about that?

My friend posted a video on one of the SNS sites, quoting on the side the lyrics of the song being sung. Since I do enjoy that group's music and was curious about the rendition of the song, I clicked on the video to watch it, while keeping an eye on the lyrics at the side. Beautiful rendition of the song. I love acapella singing. It is a real test of pitch and hearing.

Since the song was only one stanza, I thought my friend had transcribed the lyrics after listening to the song. I spotted something strange in one of the lines:

He it is who binds us together
And He it is who sends us apart
To be God's people, be God's people

If God binds us together, why would He "send us apart"? Should it not read "And He it is who 'sets' us apart"?

So, me being this nitpicky proofreader of anything and everything written or printed (besides being somewhat too much of a busybody most times), I decided to make the comment in the paragraph above. I did add that since this was the choral group's final performance, "sends us apart" would also be appropriate.

The return jab was (paraphrased to be grammatically correct): "All I did was copy and paste the lyrics from a song lyric site!"

I decided not to fire another salvo. Friendship should never be sacrificed over a sentence.

Depending on the context of a typo, we can either choose to press our point or let it go. Before you decide what to do, take a step back and look at the big picture. Good relations should always take precedence over accuracy.

Here's to lasting friendship and accuracy in writing!

Typo errors and poor building maintenance = poor image

I wrote about poor customer service some time ago. This photo is from the slimming centre I visited. While waiting for the Consultant, I spotted this unprofessional advertising on the wall.

What do I mean? Typo errors unchecked destroy any kind of professional service you may offer. It shows lack of attention to detail. I circled the errors in red.* The errors are so basic that even a child will be able to spot the errors and offer the correct answers. I wonder if the fact that the staff are more proficient in Mandarin than English, then no one will bother proficient in Mandarin than checking the English text in detail. "Most of the customers don't speak English anyway." Wrong move! Minor details that are overlooked damage your image and reputation.

The same applies to this uncovered vent in the consultation room. What I saw through the hole was clean. Good building management. However, I felt unsafe sitting directly under that uncovered vent. I kept wondering if anything was going to fall on my head!

Some cultures just do not pay attention to detail.

Learn a language, learn a culture!

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*Typo errors and corrections:
"i" should be "I"
"Iam" should be "I am"
"All Thanks" should be "All thanks"
"friendly staffs!." should be "friendly staff!"

Wrong spelling = poor image

"Lelvel"?
I took a walk through Little India and saw this sign outside what is arguably the most famous Indian restaurant in Singapore. Apolo Banana Leaf is very well known. Indians have a high standard of English, too. So, how did this happen???

It is easy to blame "typo error" and "lack of proofreading" for the glaring error. I think even a beginner in learning English would not make such a mistake. He would have used a dictionary first! Wrong spelling is unacceptable anywhere. It makes a laughing stock out of your company and brand, no matter how famous you may be.

While some brand names are just plain ignorance on the part of the creative team, others are thinking they have a cool idea that means something else!

Before you create a brand name and advertise it far and wide, go find out if your so-called cool brand name has any adverse meaning in another language. It pays to do some research first, or you may find that some countries will either laugh at your brand name or reject it outright. And you may never know why. Learning a new language will help prevent such mishaps.

Have fun learning, kapatid ("friend" in Tagalog)!

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