Wednesday 18 July 2012

Yes and No

"Yes" doesn't always mean "yes" in some languages and cultures.  Very often, we're too embarrassed to say we don't understand what was said, or were not paying attention.  Sometimes, "yes" is just another word for "uh huh" i.e. an acknowledgement that "I heard you" or "I'm listening" even though our eyes are on something else - like a cellphone.


In most of Asia, saying "no" is considered rude.  So, we say "yes" instead, just to be polite or to hide our true feelings.  "Yes, yes" actually means "Yes, I heard you".  It does not mean "Yes, I understood you" or "Yes, I agree with you".  Far from it!  


The western person assumes "yes, yes" means the Asian person fully understood, agreed and would carry out the said sentence.  The end result would be complete frustration, due to a lack of understanding of Asian culture.


Solution: don't ever ask "Do you understand?"  The answer will always be "yes" regardless of the truth.  Instead say, "Please tell me what I just said."  The listener is forced to process the instruction and explain it in his own words, thus showing whether he really understood or was just trying to be polite.


Ask open-ended questions that require some thought to the answer instead of questions requiring a "yes" or "no" answer.

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