Speak their language, don't understand them

I speak their language, but I don't understand what they are saying.

My friend has said this to me several times over the years. He has lived in his adopted country for more than 10 years, has a local wife and a son who attends a local school. He should be an expert in the local culture and language by now. But why did he say this? Why aren't the locals getting through to him? Where has the communication failed?

Communication is more than just words. We all know that. Ho hum. Learning a language does not equal being able to communicate. All it enables us to do is be able to "get by" in the new language. We can say what we need to say, but do they really get what we mean? Sometimes yes, oftentimes, no.

It takes many years, some say a lifetime, to fully understand and get into the psyche of a people and their culture. It does help if you are not so far removed from that culture e.g. a Chinese Singaporean person who works in Hong Kong. Yes, ethnically they are the same - Chinese. Yet, they are vastly different. Even if they are from the same language group i.e. Cantonese, Singaporeans and Hong Kongers are vastly different. Even the use of words is laced with nuances that another cannot understand. How much more this difference is magnified when you get a Westerner who lives and works in Asia! He may speak the local language fluently, but he will still complain like my friend did - just can't understand what goes on in their heads.

Can we just try to see something from their perspective? It isn't easy. But it isn't impossible either. It takes a lot of humility to say "I am a student". I have chosen to be a student of other cultures, not claiming to know it all. My eyes and horizon have widened and been greatly enriched because of this. The Chinese have a saying, 活到老，学到老. In English, it means, "live till an old age, learn till an old age". Perhaps a better translation would be "learning is lifelong".

Will you continue learning a new language and culture till the day you die? I will try. I want to keep learning something new every day! Find a tool here to help you.

Have fun learning!

Fun Language Tools