Speak their language, don't understand them

I speak their language, but I don't understand what they are saying.

My friend has said this to me several times over the years. He has lived in his adopted country for more than 10 years, has a local wife and a son who attends a local school. He should be an expert in the local culture and language by now. But why did he say this? Why aren't the locals getting through to him? Where has the communication failed?

Communication is more than just words. We all know that. Ho hum. Learning a language does not equal being able to communicate. All it enables us to do is be able to "get by" in the new language. We can say what we need to say, but do they really get what we mean? Sometimes yes, oftentimes, no.

It takes many years, some say a lifetime, to fully understand and get into the psyche of a people and their culture. It does help if you are not so far removed from that culture e.g. a Chinese Singaporean person who works in Hong Kong. Yes, ethnically they are the same - Chinese. Yet, they are vastly different. Even if they are from the same language group i.e. Cantonese, Singaporeans and Hong Kongers are vastly different. Even the use of words is laced with nuances that another cannot understand. How much more this difference is magnified when you get a Westerner who lives and works in Asia! He may speak the local language fluently, but he will still complain like my friend did - just can't understand what goes on in their heads.

Can we just try to see something from their perspective? It isn't easy. But it isn't impossible either. It takes a lot of humility to say "I am a student". I have chosen to be a student of other cultures, not claiming to know it all. My eyes and horizon have widened and been greatly enriched because of this. The Chinese have a saying, 活到老，学到老. In English, it means, "live till an old age, learn till an old age". Perhaps a better translation would be "learning is lifelong".

Will you continue learning a new language and culture till the day you die? I will try. I want to keep learning something new every day! Find a tool here to help you.

Have fun learning!

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Singaporeans' Heart Language - Uniquely Singaporean

My Singaporean Chinese friend has lived in China for 10 years. She was educated in English, spoke Cantonese at home, and studied Mandarin in school as a second language. We converse with each other in English, with some Mandarin and Cantonese thrown in, when we can't find a good-enough word in English to describe what we want to say.

After 10 years in a foreign land, her heart language has changed. She said she's more comfortable talking to God in Chinese, which is closer to her heart language, than in English, which was her heart language before!

Strangely enough, the first time we met, we spoke to each other in Mandarin. We were complete strangers thrown together to share a room at a conference because the organiser had mixed up my room assignment. I assumed she was from Mainland China. She didn't know what to make of me. When I said I was from Singapore, she replied, "Oh, I'm from Singapore too!" Then, we immediately switched to speaking English!

Why would we suddenly switch to speaking English when we were perfectly fine conversing in Mandarin? I don't think either of us has an answer. Having grown up in Singapore, I guess we are just used to using English or "Singlish" daily. Maybe our real heart language is not English, but "Singlish"!

For me, I talk to God in whatever language that first comes to my mind. Sometimes, I start in English and end up in Mandarin, or Indonesian. Some days I wonder if I can ever talk solely in 1 language for an extended period of time. I have too many languages in my head. I use whatever word comes to mind, especially when I know the listener understands that language too. Perhaps it makes my life more colourful, but it could drive other people crazy. I have too many friends who communicate in sentences made up of words from different languages. We don't even realise what we're doing. It's just natural for us. Thankfully, we all understand each other perfectly well.

So, what is my heart language? I don't know anymore. I'm happy to communicate in any language that you and I understand. Most importantly, my God understands what I'm trying to say.

Enrich your life today! Learn a new language!

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