Read the fine print?

Just over a year ago, the Singapore government started a campaign to get government agencies to write simply. Since then, some commercial companies have followed suit by rewriting their terms and conditions to allow the average person to understand what he is getting himself into.

Too often we look at a thick legal document and put it aside before even reading the first line. Technical jargon, legal speak, do not understand, ... Who bothers to read the Terms and Conditions, or "fine print" for that matter? The sales person explained everything to me already.

Since the move to simplify legal documents, the number of pages has also been drastically reduced, by up to 50%! How about that for saving the environment by using less paper? I think many people actually bother to read the Terms and Conditions now.

It is certainly timely. We could all benefit from less confusion and more direct writing styles. The earth would benefit from the reduction in paper usage. Win-win situation all round!

Here's to clear and simple written communication!

Eat potatoes or sweet potatoes?

In the Singapore context, when a Chinese person wants to make a point that he cannot speak Chinese, he will say in Hokkien (or the Fujian dialect) that he is "jiak kantang" or "eat potato". The interesting thing about this phrase is that "jiak" means "eat" in Hokkien, but "kantang" is a borrowed word from Malay (correct spelling in Malay is "kentang") meaning "potato". Uniquely Singaporean expression.

Since Asians eat mostly rice and westerners eat mostly potatoes, I suppose that is how this phrase came about. If you eat potatoes, then you must be western-trained and therefore speak English.

Chinese people do eat potatoes, but most prefer sweet potatoes instead. If you are Chinese in Singapore and can speak Chinese, you would not refer to yourself as being a sweet potato eater. For that matter, there is no equivalent expression for those who are proficient in Chinese. A derogatory term for those who are educated in Chinese but speak little English is "Chinese helicopter", meaning that he speaks English haltingly or with a stutter (the sound of which is like the whirring blades of a helicopter).

An evangelist friend from a Chinese-speaking church commented that there is a dearth of local Chinese-speaking pastors and evangelists. In fact, many of the pastors here were once English-educated and have crossed the language divide due to a need. This made him call us "Jiak kantang cho huan zi kang" (吃马铃薯，作番薯工）or "eat potatoes but do sweet potato work". This is not ideal because communication is more than just being able to speak the language. Communication involves understanding the other culture, nuances and expressions. Just because I speak basic Chinese does not mean I understand the Chinese person's psyche. For someone like me who grew up "eating potatoes", this is definitely true. However, being a lifelong student always opens the door to another's heart. Sincerity will always win the day.

Regardless of what kind of staple food you eat, let's be open to another culture and language. Our lives will be so much richer for the education.

Here's to celebrating diversity!

Egg, Banana or Coconut?

If you are familiar with Asian American terminology, you would know what being called a "banana" means. The banana fruit is yellow on the outside and white on the inside. If an Asian person is called a "banana" (or as one of my China friends put it 香蕉人 - "banana person"), it means that he has yellow skin (or looks completely Asian on the outside) but his language, thinking and behaviour is completely western (or "white").

Eggs, on the other hand, have white shells (at least duck eggs and some chicken eggs do!) and contain a yellow yolk in the centre. My white American friend who lives in Hawaii calls himself an "egg". He has a Japanese-American wife. He is the opposite of the "banana". He may be a white American on the outside, but his thinking and value system is completely Asian.

My Samoan friend is brown-skinned. He grew up speaking Samoan, but he spent a large part of his life in the mainland USA. His thinking and behaviour is completely western. One day, when a few of us were describing ourselves as "bananas" or "eggs", he walked by and said, "Just call me a 'coconut'." We all promptly burst out laughing.

I have always considered myself a "banana". I was born into an English-speaking home environment. Nobody spoke Mandarin. Three of my four grandparents spoke English. The other grandparent was unschooled. She only spoke Cantonese. Since I was despised from birth since I am female, she hardly spoke to me. I attended an English-speaking Catholic school. All of us scraped through Chinese lessons, doing much better at English.

In my adult working years, I was thrown into a Chinese-speaking environment. I was forced to speak, and later on try to read the newspapers daily as part of my job. Many years later, I decided to start all over again, reading my Bible daily with a dictionary by my side. I am still not fluent, neither can I read well, but I manage. The greatest compliment I received sometime ago was from a friend from China. He said, "妳已经不是香蕉人了！“ ("You are no longer a banana!") He went on to tell me how much he enjoyed my sermons in Chinese because he received insights that he did not get from sermons in English. I was moved to tears.

I still consider myself a "banana" today. Will that ever change? I don't know. Suffice it to say that the colour of my skin does not define who I am. Neither should you be defined as such. Just be yourself!

Here's to individuality and diversity!

I "copas", so it must be right

If you are Indonesian, you will probably know what "copas" means. It is not at all an Indonesian word. In fact, it is more likely to be labelled as Bahasa Jakarta or "Jakarta language". Jakarta language is not a proper language. There are many words that are acronyms of a phrase that takes too long to sound out. Hence, the truncation.

"Copas" is one such truncation. "CO(py) (and) PAS(te) = Copas" Get it? Quite clever, I must say.

Actually, the point of this blog post is not about truncation or Jakarta language. It is about "copy and paste" of texts that we want to quote in our writing. Since someone else has already typed it out, why should I waste my time and type it out again? Just copy and paste. It will be accurate that way. No typo errors.

You sure about that?

My friend posted a video on one of the SNS sites, quoting on the side the lyrics of the song being sung. Since I do enjoy that group's music and was curious about the rendition of the song, I clicked on the video to watch it, while keeping an eye on the lyrics at the side. Beautiful rendition of the song. I love acapella singing. It is a real test of pitch and hearing.

Since the song was only one stanza, I thought my friend had transcribed the lyrics after listening to the song. I spotted something strange in one of the lines:

He it is who binds us together
And He it is who sends us apart
To be God's people, be God's people

If God binds us together, why would He "send us apart"? Should it not read "And He it is who 'sets' us apart"?

So, me being this nitpicky proofreader of anything and everything written or printed (besides being somewhat too much of a busybody most times), I decided to make the comment in the paragraph above. I did add that since this was the choral group's final performance, "sends us apart" would also be appropriate.

The return jab was (paraphrased to be grammatically correct): "All I did was copy and paste the lyrics from a song lyric site!"

I decided not to fire another salvo. Friendship should never be sacrificed over a sentence.

Depending on the context of a typo, we can either choose to press our point or let it go. Before you decide what to do, take a step back and look at the big picture. Good relations should always take precedence over accuracy.

Here's to lasting friendship and accuracy in writing!

Men vs Women and Toddlers

A male friend of mine was introduced to his friend's son, a toddler, probably no older than three years old. The little boy was being carried in his father's arms, but he seemed to want to run around because he kept fidgeting non-stop.

Trying to be friendly, my friend said to the little boy, "High five. High five." He said this while using his hand to try and get the little boy to return the gesture. It did not work. The boy was more interested in trying to get his father to put him down and let him run around. The father finally did. The two men then carried on their conversation.

I have seen men of every age, shape, size and nationality do the same thing when they meet a child, whether boy or girl, of any age. Some do it gently, others (more likely my big American friends) go, "Hey, buddy, give me a five!" Often, the little boy or girl will respond enthusiastically with a high five and a giggle or two.

As I watched my friend trying so hard to engage the little boy, I started thinking about how women react to toddlers. We do not go "high five". Instead, we may come up with a phrase like the following, or a combination of two or more phrases:

"Oh, you're so cute!"
"What's your name, Honey/Sweetheart?"
"How old are you, Sweetie?" "You are just the cutest little boy/girl!"

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? Yes, indeed. Our reactions to the same situation are vastly different, as though we are from two different planets. But then, who would want men and women to react in exactly the same way? The world would be so boring!

Let's celebrate our differences as men and women! The world is a happier place because of our differences!