The eyes say it all

Monday morning rush hour. The train is packed. I'm in the train already, close to the door. A guy runs in before the door closes. I saw him on the bus earlier. Sharp, handsome, not very tall. He looks Pinoy (Filipino).

Three stops later, I position myself to get off the still-crowded train. He turned his head and looked at me. I nodded.

When the train stopped and the doors opened, he stepped off the train and stood to one side so that I, and others behind me, could get off.

What just happened?

The eyes said it all.

He looked at me with eyes that said, "Are you getting off?" I nodded to say, "Yes."

Pinoys communicate with their facial expressions, not so much the rest of their body. So, technically, I can't call it body language, rather facial language. Observe Filipinos talking to each other. Yes, they talk a lot! (No offence here. I love Filipinos and have lots of good Filipino friends!) Very often, they use their eyes to say something, raise their eyebrows to say "yes", or purse their lips in a direction to point to something. (No, they're not offering to kiss you.) It is quite easy to read their facial language. I find it a very effective way to communicate. Words not required.

Some nationalities talk with their hands. I do. Filipinos talk with their faces.

Body language surpasses the need to know another's language in order to communicate. Then again, body language is a language in itself!

Have fun learning to communicate cross-culturally!

Clueless in translation

I spotted this sign in the toilet at a coffee shop in Singapore. While I understood what the Chinese text was trying to say, I was baffled at what the English text was supposed to mean. Another case of "lost in translation". Maybe even "clueless in translation".

Let's first dissect the Chinese text 来也匆匆，去也冲冲.

This is a play of two words having similar sounds. (I cannot say the sounds are the same because the Hanyu Pinyin for 匆匆 is cong1 cong1, while the Hanyu Pinyin for 冲冲 is chong1 chong1. Sounds similar to the untrained ear, but very different when you have to input the characters in a text.) The first part of the sentence 来也匆匆 means "enter hurriedly". The second part of the sentence 去也冲冲 means "flush (the toilet) when you leave". Given that this is a sign in a toilet, it makes perfect sense. A simple reminder to keep the toilet clean for the next user.

But what does "easy come, easy go" have to do with toilet cleanliness? Usually, this phrase is used to describe the difficulty in saving money. This is definitely the wrong context for this phrase. Someone who cannot read Chinese would look at this phrase and wonder what the management is trying to tell him/her. The picture tells me the phrase has something to do with using the toilet. But what am I supposed to do other than just use it?

Perhaps I am reading too much into a sign.

But aren't signs supposed to tell you something clearly?

A picture paints a thousand words. In this case, I have no idea what the picture or the English words are trying to say.

So much for reminding me to keep the toilet clean.

Lost? Clueless? Yes, that's me right now.

Have fun with languages!

The Le-ers don't even ma-er, or do they?

It

Similar sounds, different meanings

Have you ever gotten two very similar words mixed up, and ended up with an entirely different meaning to your sentence?

Here's an example I saw on someone's PowerPoint presentation on social ills. The presenter wrote "phonography" instead of "pornography".

Phonography is "phonetic representation or spelling".

Pornography is "printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement".

Not only are these two words very different in meaning, they are completely unrelated to each other. In the context of social ills, phonography has absolutely no place.

I do not think the presenter knew that he had made a mistake. For that matter, I do not think any of the audience noticed the grave error! Or, if anyone did, perhaps he was too polite to say anything. Whatever the case, a mistake is a mistake.

If in doubt, always check the dictionary. It is far more reliable than auto-correct.

A small error can cost you a lot.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Construction or contraction?

My friend spotted this sign in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. His comment was, "No wonder they are hard at labor."

The words in Khmer say, "Under Construction". This is correct. The one who provided the English text needs to go back to school. It's probably a man, since men do not have contractions.

Maybe his English is under construction, or under contraction so he can't think straight.

Whichever the case, it always pays to check a few times before sending the final text for print.

Have fun with English!

Porn or Prone?

A friend posted this picture on Facebook.

Can Porn be an accident? Hmmm. Well, some men would tell you they were searching for something on the internet and a porn website popped up. Accident? Yes. But only if he shut it quickly. No, if he could not take his eyes off the pictures.

I digress.

This sign should read:

ACCIDENT PRONE AREA

Accident Prone means you are highly likely to meet with an accident in the vicinity. Therefore, you should stay clear or walk at your own risk. Whoever painted the sign obviously cannot spell. After all, "porn" and "prone" have the same letters in different order.

It pays to check several times, and with someone who has better English, than to end up being a laughing stock. With today's technology, a misspelled sign can go viral and make you a laughing stock worldwide. If you enjoy that kind of publicity, be my guest. I would rather be correct and unnoticed.

Correct spelling does have its benefits.

Have fun with English!

There is no "Aunty" and "Uncle" in Mandarin

Chinese New Year is coming up in a few days.  How am I going to navigate the multiple relatives, making sure I address the correct Aunty or Uncle in the correct term?  Here's a handy guide from Focus on the Family Singapore.



There is no "Aunty" and "Uncle" in Mandarin



Here's wishing you 身体健康 (good health)！

ABCs of CNY

Chinese New Year (CNY), Lunar New Year (calendar based on the moon, rather than the sun), Spring Festival, Tet, Imlek, ... these are just a few names for festivities to mark the beginning of the year according to the Lunar Calendar. Celebrated mostly by ethnic Chinese people around the world, it is considered a major holiday in much of Asia.

Since Chinese people can be found in almost every part of the world, some of our customs and traditions have taken on a local flavour. Singapore is no exception. So, this is my humble interpretation of what this holiday is to me. (This list is by no means exhaustive.)

A is for Abalone

This shellfish is a must for any Chinese New Year meal. Bought in cans and eaten in various ways, the price varies from year to year, according to the country of origin and size. As of 5 December 2015, the demand for abalone in Singapore increased overnight. Due to a ban on serving fresh-water raw fish, restaurants and eateries have now substituted raw fish for abalone in the traditional raw fish salad or 'lo hei' (see "L is for Lo Hei").

B is for Bak Kwa

Bak kwa 肉干 is barbequed pork slices. Available all year round, the demand and price soars about three weeks before the New Year. Pork is minced, seasoned with a secret marinade, dried, then barbecued by hand. The whole process takes a few days from slabs of meat to finished product.

C is for 春节 (pronounced 'Chun Jie')

C is also for Chinese New Year! Officially, Chinese New Year is known as 春节 or Spring Festival in Chinese as the first day of the lunar new year marks the beginning of Spring.

D is for 大吉大利 (pronounced 'da ji da li')

Loosely translated as 'good luck', this is one of the standard greetings during this festive season. Many Chinese homes will have this phrase pasted around the living room, much like a 'Merry Christmas' sign, as decor.

E is for Egg Rolls （蛋卷）

More commonly known as Kueh Belanda (literally 'Dutch cake' in Malay), this delicate, crispy roll is an absolute must in every home. It is made from eggs, flour, coconut milk and sugar. Painstakingly baked over a charcoal fire and quickly rolled by hand when hot, this deceptively light biscuit packs quite a few calories in one roll.

F is for Family

The New Year is a time for family from far and wide to come home for a reunion dinner on the eve of the new year. For the next few days, friends and relatives will visit one another to renew ties and stay in touch.

G is for 恭喜发财 (pronounced 'Gong Xi Fa Cai')

This is the standard greeting when you meet someone during the festive season, which lasts 15 days. For the non-Chinese speaking, a simple "Happy New Year" or 新年快乐 (pronounced 'xin nian kuai le') will do too.

H is for 'Hee Piaw‘ Soup 鱼鳔汤

In any Peranakan home, this soup is an absolute must for the reunion dinner. The name of the dish comes from its main ingredient, which is 鱼鳔 (pronounced 'yu bio') or the air bladder of the eel. Other ingredients in the soup are meat balls (made from minced pork, minced squid and crab meat), pig's stomach, sea cucumber, pork ribs and cabbage.

I is for I Love Chinese New Year!

J is for ’Juang Lo‘ 火锅

In a Hokkien (Fujian) home, the reunion dinner will be steamboat (sometimes knows as hot pot or 火锅 'huo guo'). Raw meat, seafood and vegetables will be prepared and served on plates around the table. In the middle of the table will be a boiling pot of soup. Each member of the family will take whatever food he likes from any of the array of raw food, dip it in the pot of soup to be cooked, then eat it piping hot. The fun is in the cooking and sharing of food around the table.

K is for Kueh-kueh

Kueh means 'cake' or any kind of pastry in Malay. Repeating the word makes it plural. Go to any home and you will find cakes, sweets, pastries, of a myriad display and flavour.

L is for ’Lo Hei‘ 捞起

Literally meaning 'toss up', this dish is uniquely Singaporean. It was created and popularised by local Cantonese chefs who owned a famous restaurant. Served only during the new year, it is a salad of sorts, with raw fish. Due to the ban on raw fresh water fish, the fish has now been replaced by abalone (see A is for Abalone).

M is for Mandarin Oranges

When visiting family and friends, mandarin oranges 柑 are a must. The minimum number is two. They must always be presented in even numbers. The recipient will return you the same number of oranges. If you are going to many homes, you will only need to leave home with two oranges and keep exchanging them at each home you visit. Recycling must have been an ancient Chinese custom.

N is for 年糕 (pronounced 'nian gao')

Literally translated as 'new year cake', this brown-coloured, round confection is served only during the new year. Eating it is supposed to guarantee you upward mobility in the days and months ahead (年年升高 pronounced 'nian nian sheng gao').

O is for ’Ong Lye‘ 黄梨

This practice is for the Hokkien family, if you are superstitious. In the Hokkien language, a pineapple is called 'ong lye'. This word is the same pronunciation for the word meaning 'wealth comes'. At the opening of a new business or before entering a new home, the Hokkien family will roll a pineapple from the front door into the premises for good luck. It is common to see paper pineapples hanging from the ceiling as decor.

P is for 盆菜 (pronounced 'pen cai')

This dish is traditional in Hong Kong. Originally, all the leftovers during the reunion dinner were placed in a large clay pot and simmered over a slow fire. This was the meal for the next few days of the new year. Today, it has become a specially made pot of expensive seafood items. Many hotels prepare this dish for families to order as takeaway for dinners at home.

Q is for Queues

Tis the season to queue for bak kwa 肉干. As the new year draws closer, queues in Chinatown outside the most famous store can go for kilometres round the block. Average waiting time is known to be eight hours. (See B is for Bak Kwa)

R is for Red Packets 红包

Red envelopes containing cash are given to grandparents, parents, elderly relatives, singles, and children. How much cash is in each envelope depends on who the recipient is, how close the relationship, and possibly how needy the recipient may be. Only one rule applies: total amount must always be in even numbers and absolutely not ending in 4 e.g. $4, $14, etc. The number 4 sounds like the word for death.

S is for Sugar

90% of what you eat during the new year contains this ingredient: cakes, cookies, soft drinks. If you are not careful, you will end up with a massive sugar overload before the first day of festivities is over.

T is for pineapple Tarts

This is a must for the new year, since pineapple has an auspicious meaning (see O is for Ong Lye). The basic recipe is pineapple jam wrapped in a flour and butter pastry. What the finished product looks like depends entirely on the creativity of the baker.

U is for Unusual Flavours

Singaporean palates are increasing hard to please. Each year, bakeries have to come up with unusual flavours for cookies. Some very local flavours this year include nasi lemak cookies (nasi lemak is a local dish of rice cooked in coconut milk, anchovies with peanuts, omelette, and a slice of cucumber), and dried shrimp floss cookies.



V is for Values

The festive season is for the older generation to pass down family and traditional values to the next generation. Values define a society. The stronger the family values, the stronger the society will be.

W is for Weight Gain

This is unavoidable, considering the copious amounts of food consumed in those few days. Unless you are very disciplined, it is very difficult not to gain some weight, even if it is only a few hundred grams.

X is for eXtra Kilos I need to shed

Ditto W is for Weight Gain above.

Y is for Young and Old

The festive season is for families to get together. Young and old enjoy each other's company. Family bonds are renewed and strengthened.

Z is for Zzz

After the festivities, we will all need lots of zzzz to make up for all the energy spent preparing, cooking, eating, washing, visiting friends and relatives, etc.

Here's wishing you a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

"Is this whiskey?"

Obviously a stereotype of Chinese people speaking English. Hmph.

That being said, Chinese people around the world hardly speak English like this! Somehow this stereotype from maybe before World War II, has carried on till today.

The world of spoken English has changed.

Looks like stereotypes need to be updated too!

P.S. In case you are wondering what the joke is all about, this is the text in proper English:

Two Chinese dudes break into a distillery.

One turns to the other and says, 'Is this whiskey?'

The other one says 'Yes, but not as Risky as robbing a bank'!!

(Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153781743927174&set=gm.1537916159833865&type=3&theater)

Ling and bling

My Sydney cousin posted this photo on Facebook. She felt the line "You ling, we bling" was either a grammatical error or a rather racist statement. I can't blame her. In today's politically correct world, we really shouldn't be playing up stereotypes.

Well, as it turns out, Miss Chu wrote a very clever tagline and has won a copyright for it! (How do I know? One of my cousin's friends said so.)

While I am all for good grammar, proper spelling, and absolutely NO LAUGHING at someone's inability to pronounce English words correctly, my first thought when I saw the line "You ling, we bling" was more a play up of stereotypes to create maximum impact in marketing and promotion. In this case, it is an Asian (Vietnamese, to be specific) making fun of Chinese people who find difficulty in distinguishing between "r" and "l". Does that make it forgivable? Maybe.

Since the owner of this place is far from offended by this stereotyping, I can safely say the rest of us should not take offence either. After all, she does have a court-approved document to use her tagline!

In the name of fun, why don't "you ling" for some bánh cuốn (Vietnamese rice rolls) and Miss Chu will gladly "bling" them to you. Just make sure you have cash handy to pay for it.

Bon apetit!

Note: This post was entirely inspired by the photo. I have never been to Miss Chu, nor tried the food there; neither have I been paid to write this post.

Magic Tree???

In response to my last post on mangled pronunciations of English, +Lloyd Estrada    made a comment about this classic Gospel song Majesty.

The full lyrics of the song are:

Majesty
Worship His majesty
Unto Jesus, be all glory, honor and praise

Majesty
Kingdom authority
Flows from His throne, unto His own, His anthem raise

Chorus
So exalt, lift up on high the Name of Jesus
Magnify, come glorify Christ Jesus the King

Majesty, worship His majesty
Jesus who died, now glorified, King of all kings

Ending
Jesus who died, now glorified
Jesus who died, now glorified
King of all kings

(Lyrics and music by Jack W Hayford)

Here is Lloyd's comment:

A song leader in one of the language groups led his congregation in singing that song but with these words...

Magic tree, worship his magic tree
Uncle Jesus be all glory, power and praise

Incorrect hearing.
Mangled pronunciation.
Don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Be careful what you say! The consequences may lead people astray!

It does pay to check original sources before you say anything.

Have fun learning this crazy language called English!

Uncle???

I was watching a video of a group of men in Taipei, Taiwan, giving a performance of two songs in a church service. At the end of their short performance, the pastor of the church came up and asked the congregation if they wanted to hear more. He was speaking in Mandarin, saying, "有没有 "uncle"？聚会之前，他们有跟我说有没有 "uncle", 他们还是会唱多一首歌。" (English translation: Is there an "uncle"? Before the service, they told me they would sing another song even without "uncle".)

While the pastor was speaking, I was puzzled. What does "uncle" have to do with singing?

In the middle of their last song, I realised what "uncle" was. "Encore"! That's what the pastor was saying! He was asking the congregation if they wanted to hear more songs. If they did, then they should be saying, "Encore! Encore!"

Chinese English.
Mangled pronunciation.
Understand the context.

Having encountered many different nationalities speaking English, I am actually pretty good at deciphering what people are trying to say. This one stumped me. I suppose the context of a church service didn't help in this case. But, I got it in the end. It can get frustrating, but more often than not, I choose to celebrate the variety of English spoken around the world.

Let's celebrate variety and uniqueness!

MeetingS kills

A friend was preparing slides for a training session entitled "Meeting Skills". In the process of typing the title slide, she realised that with a small typo, you will get an entirely different meaning:

"MeetingS kills"

Anyone who has ever sat through a meeting can testify that on the whole, meetings are a dreaded necessity. This is especially true if the Chairperson does not know how to keep the agenda moving in a quick and efficient manner. Discussions can go completely out of hand if not directed well. An agenda with only a few items ends up lasting hours because people were allowed to talk freely on anything superficially related to the topic. Hence, skills are required to conduct meetings so that the business gets done in as short a time as possible. Chop, chop ... and the meeting is over. Work can commence.

If the meeting goes on and on, you may find enthusiasm "killed". People will find excuses not to attend the meeting, or be physically present but mentally somewhere else.

Get the right meeting skills or risk killing others (or getting killed) by meetings.

Have fun at your next meeting!

Angles we have heard on high

"Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains"

Christmas is in the air! Carols can be heard in almost every public place and sometimes on street corners. Pictures of nativity scenes, angels, and Santa Claus and reindeer greet us wherever we look. Simply cannot run away from Christmas.

Every Christmas, there will inevitably be at least one person who cannot differentiate between "angels" and "angles".

Other than an inability to spot the difference (I know quite a few people like that!), angels are far from angular!

Angels are generally portrayed as benign celestial beings who are watching over us from above. They are summoned by God to keep watch over mankind. One angel per person, some say two angels per child. Angelic beings are gentle, loving and caring. In contrast, angles are known to be hard and inflexible. If something is described as being "angular", it means that the item has hard lines and feels cold and uncaring (as opposed to curved lines which show softness).

More importantly, if the carol Gloria in Excelsis Deo were to be typed incorrectly i.e. "angles we have heard on high" instead of "angels we have heard on high", it would make no sense. Angles can't sing. Angels do. Sweetly too.

So, if you are in charge of creating song sheets or PowerPoint slides for Christmas, be careful! Angles do not sing. :D

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas now!

Caesar ate no scissors in his salad

Social media in Malaysia is buzzing with the latest news about salad served at a Parliament dinner.

The menu said: "Scissors Salad". The dish appeared: Ceasar's Salad.

Dessert was: Cream Brule. The dish: Creme Brûlée.

What went wrong? No one has come outright to say so, but it can be easily blamed on lack of proofreading before going to print.

The caterer obviously typed what he had heard pronounced, without checking with anyone. Unforgivable? Yes, because it is an important dinner.

Blame the poor standard of Malaysian English? That would be very mean. It can happen anywhere in the world! After all, the only English spoken around the world is bad English (according to my South African friend). Even the best of us can make mistakes. Let's take them as lessons to be learned quickly and not to be repeated ever again.

In the meantime, rest assured that the salad only contained vegetables and other food items, no scissors.

Bon appetit!

Fat or VAT?

My Malaysian Chinese friend working in the UK wrote this on her Facebook:

"Customer confronts me today and repeats "fat fat fat where is the fat"... Took a few seconds to realize he was looking for the VAT counter and thankfully directed him there instead of to the queue for roast pork."

English as it is pronounced by different nationalities.

From a linguistics standpoint, the letters 'v' and 'f' are very similar in sound. Blow air through your upper teeth while bringing your lower lip up to the edge of your upper teeth. Then make the sound for 'v' or 'f'. It is so easy to get the two sounds mixed up.

In some words such as 'verb', if pronounced 'ferb', would make no sense whatsoever. The hearer might even wonder if the speaker wants a 'herb' instead.

However, in my friend's case, she almost sent the customer to the wrong counter! Apart from the different pronunciation of 'VAT', her Chinese mind (aka foodie mind), was thinking about any kind of food that contains high amounts of fat. Hence, roast pork.

Moral of the story: try not to process everything you hear through your own cultural mindset. Take a step back and try to understand the speaker's standpoint before offering an answer. When that fails, ask questions. At all costs, try to avoid misunderstanding. At all times, keep a big smile on your face and show interest. When words fail, the smile melts the coldest heart.

Have fun listening to and trying to understand different pronunciations of English!

It's not always what you think it means

Before my trip to Munich, Germany, a friend posted this picture on Facebook. He was warning all of us non-German speaking friends not to be confused when entering the restroom. (If you know just a little bit of German, you will probably be wondering what the fuss is all about.)

To him, "Damen" means Gents because the German word contains "men".

"Herran" would then mean Ladies because the German word begins with "her".

Dead wrong!

It is exactly the opposite! "Damen" is German for Ladies, while "Herran" is German for Gentlemen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I suddenly remembered that "dame" is a lady and "herr" means Mister. Would I have been confused with the signs anyway? Yes. It has been way too long for me to make sense of the words quickly. At the art museum in Munich, the toilet signs read "D" and "H". Which one would be for me?

My travelling companion said that on her previous trip, she actually waited outside the toilet for someone to come out, just so she would not enter the wrong toilet!

Thankfully, many of the newer toilet signs show the universal picture of a man or a woman - no words to cause confusion.

One final thought: if someone from Hawaii looked at these signs, he would automatically think that "Damen" is the Gents. In Hawaii, "damen" would be pronounced "Da Men"!

Have fun with languages!

Confusing? No, not confusing

Dr Tu You You from China has made the headlines this week for being one of the winners of the Nobel Prize for Medicine. Everyone in China is celebrating the win! People around the world are celebrating the win!

When her birthday comes around, her family in China will definitely NOT be singing "Happy Birthday" to her in English. If they did, then this remark would hold true. However, more likely than not, the family would sing the song in Chinese, which would make this joke entirely irrelevant.

Some jokes just do not translate into another language.

I suppose that is part of the fun of cross-cultural communication!

Congratulations, Dr Tu You You! 恭喜你！

Photo credit: 9GAG

Facebook = "no choice but to die"

My Taiwanese friend got a job that requires her to write marketing articles for the bookstore where she works. Among other places, those articles will be posted on the store's Facebook page. Suddenly, posting things on Facebook has become a serious piece of work that must be done responsibly. No more spur-of-the-moment posts. This is what pays her. No more frivolous stuff.

Her first piece of work was given an "ok" by her supervisor, but with a warning that she had to think seriously about what she was writing. Suddenly, writing became such a burden. So she wrote, "我非死不可 (Facebook) ..."

It took me a while to figure out what she was saying. Then it dawned on me! 非死不可 is a mangled Chinese pronunciation of the English word "Facebook". (Loosely translated "no choice but to die".) Of course, it was also a play on the words that she now has no choice but to die to her personal desire to write anything that comes to mind.

Brilliant play on words and translation! It also brings a sobering message that anything posted on social media can be used against you. Post responsibly. Post at your own risk. The whole world is watching. A thoughtless remark can go viral in minutes. It could even cost you your job (as has been in two cases in Singapore).

Writing conveys a message. Write well. Write wisely.

Have fun with words!

Celebrate cultural differences!

Whether you believe in the existence of heaven and hell or not, everyone around the world will generally agree that heaven is the ideal and hell is, well ... the opposite. This poster says a lot about our cultural characteristics.

British are known for being orderly and very good at maintaining law and order.
Italians cook the most delicious food.
Germans can make and fix things with superb precision.
French are the world's romantics.
Swiss keep things running like clockwork (yes, pun fully intended).

When each of these nationalities is in his element, everyone is happy and things run smoothly. Exactly the way heaven should be, or at least we think heaven is like that.

However, when the different nationalities try to do something they are not good at, oh my! All hell breaks loose! Chaos!

The best advice I have heard is to find what you are good at and do it well! Everyone will be happy! We will be in seventh heaven!

So what is your country known for? Make that your passion and bring heaven to earth!

Vive la cultural differences!